Gems from the spam files

"She performed these chores with the practiced, heavy hand of the long-time sugar junkie."

[as I am in the process of deleting spam emails, sometimes they are on screen long enough for me to read them. And sometimes they are amusing. Like this little gem.]

Overheard from the house across the street...

My neighbor had been working with her son to get over the last hurdle of potty training: #2 in the loo. She had come up with an elaborate reward system whereby for 6 correct 'deposits' there would be a purchase of a much coveted robot toy.

The next morning, her son is perched on the potty, struggling away. She makes the comment that, "gee, you usually don't have to go poo until the afternoon..."

he responds with a sigh, "yeah, but I really want that robot."