My friend Lisa has described the feeling of leaving the house, leaving the children, being off on one's own as being like a helium balloon - once let go, one drifts up and away feeling lighter and lighter.
Today as I bid both boys adieu at the gates of school, the feeling was more like a rocket had launched from my chest. and e x h a l e . I had been looking forward to this very moment often (remember this gentle reader?)
I now have some time and space alone for myself. Before now I could probably count the number of times I've been in my house alone on one hand (and Smith clicking and gabbing away in the home office is going to be ignored right now for sake of argument.) It feels good.
I ran into another person who was having the same feelings, but she was feeling guilty too. Somehow I am not. It can be painful to watch them grow up and away from me, but I am happy for my kids - they are going off on the next adventure of their lives (albeit with much less ME in it.) It is good for them. And I am happy for me, for I too am going about the next adventure in my life!
3 comments:
Absence truly does make the heart grow fonder.
Congrats!
Yes! Although Colin was in preschool last year, I know I was supposed to be weepy about my baby going off to Kindergarten this year. But all my days off this summer were accompanied by both kids (except when I went to that conference in June, and boy did I get that helium feeling driving away from them!). So I was glad to see him go to the school he's been looking forward to attending with his big sis for so long.
Good for you for enjoying and articulating how good it feels to think and stretch as an independent adult again!
Ha ha, I just reread your linked post about mattress/garden hose/please write Jenn/nary a hose in Italy. Well, let me tell you, there was a garden hose in my friend Romina's backyard, and it was the source of much angst and soaking between my kids and hers and required last minute pants changing before we could go on outings.
You are never safe with boys and garden hoses...
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