Sunday, March 15, 2009

Is it still a kindness if you ask for it?

In one of the classrooms at the kid's school, they might do a "kindness" to the classroom; do something on behalf of all the other people in the class.

In our house, Smith usually makes coffee. I love it when he wakes up early and I can cruise into the kitchen and merely pour. I'm not a coffee junkie, but some days I just like the warmth of it. The smell of it. And given the amount that is often left in my cup, maybe it is still just the aroma that moves me.

After a delightful morning of yoga, I returned home and the coffee was all gone. Not a drop. I went on to make up my own breakfast, glancing at the coffee maker. And then I asked if he would make me some, even though I could tell he was DONE with breakfast and coffee and had moved on to the rest of his day.

"What kind?"
I shrugged and said it didn't really matter. And because I'm slow I only now realize that it didn't matter what kind of coffee. It was really about the act of his making coffee for me. I feel like he is taking care of me, even if he really didn't want to, and I think I needed that extra comfort this morning. So thank you beloved Smith for making it when I asked, but I think it is still a kindness. after all, you could have refused.

(and by pure coincidence, as I type this refrain from a HOLE song is playing in my ears)
Was she askin' for it?
Was she askin' nice?
Yes she was askin' for it!
Did she ask you twice?


peevish said...

Of course this post hit home with me. You KNOW what coffee means to me. And yes, it is still a kindness.

One of the many tightropes one walks in a marriage is learning how to ask for what you need, and learning how to answer when your partner asks. I think, for me anyway, it will take a lifetime to learn to do this with any measure of grace.

Sinda said...

My measure of grace will come when we can listen to the words we say, and ignore the subtext. I'm thinking if we ignore it, it will go away. Because one person's implied subtext does NOT necessarily equal another person's inferred subtext.

But, yes, agreed, those small things are priceless.

mr man said...

deep deep ....

and a really good photo.

and yes, it is a kindness: an easy one. i speak only for me, but it is a kindness each way to serve the ones we love; it isn't always convenient, so fleh: that's life; we'll get over it. kindness: good.

peevish said...

Yes, the photo. I didn't see it the first time. Was it there, and I missed it? Or did you add it later? Anyway, I like it lots.