When I first had N, I was amazed at this amazing connection to another human being. At first it is such a strong physical connection - you watch this child emerge from your body. Then this person is attached to part of you for however long the nursing lasts. It was hard for me not to think of him as a part of me. And that strong physical connection is intertwined and gradually replaced by an emotional connection.
As he has grown older, I see him more as his own person. Each day, needing me, being part of me, just a little less. When he first started school, it was an adjustment for me because he'd spent ALL of his time with me and here he was going off to spend time with other people! What would he be like around people without me?! I felt like he had this secret part of his life.
This year, he has started to feel the secrecy of this part of his life too. When I pick him up after school, we have the usual greetings and talk about our respective days. When I ask him what he did at school or had for snack or who he saw, he usually answers "it's a secret." You can see the quiet understanding (and joy) of having this thing all to himself.
And just last Friday, it became apparent that he had a "secret" at home too. We had some friends over for dinner and N was gleefully playing with visiting friend. It was the first time this friend had come to visit and play. Everything was going so well until visiting friend uncovered a special thing of N's. And put it in his mouth. Where he discovered that he very much liked chewing on it. Through the hysterical tears of my youngster I could barely discern the words "special" and "wax." Huh? When the item was finally removed from the joyfully chomping jaws of the friend, there was a lumpy ball of red wax. More Huh?
Much later after the tears were dried and the friend had gone home we learned of the specially shaped chrysalis that had been molded out of some babybel cheese wax. And for the life of me, I can't remember how long it's been since we've had babybel cheese.